How to Say Goodbye in Japanese: Textbook vs. Tokyo (Plus Beginner Phrases Textbooks Teach Differently)

Updated 2026-10-09

Most textbooks teach さようなら (sayōnara) as "goodbye." That's not wrong. But if you spend a week in Tokyo, you'll notice that adults rarely say it to each other.

I'm a native Japanese speaker living in Tokyo. This guide is part of our Textbook vs. Tokyo series: phrases beginners learn from books and apps that are correct, but get used a little differently in everyday life here. We start with goodbye, then cover leaving work, leaving someone's home, greeting friends, getting someone's attention, shops, saying no, and after-work drinks.

Every phrase has kana, romaji, a plain-English meaning, and a short example you can copy.

Quick Answer: How to Say Goodbye in Japanese

Pick the goodbye by who you're talking to, not by how polite you want to sound.

Short version: at work, use osaki ni shitsurei shimasu and otsukaresama desu (or deshita). With friends, use jā ne, mata ne, or bai bai. Leaving someone's home, say ojama shimashita. Keep sayōnara in your pocket. People will understand it; it just isn't what most adults say day to day.

Why Textbooks Teach さようなら (and Why Adults Rarely Say It)

さようなら (sayōnara) is the first goodbye almost every course teaches, and it's a reasonable place to start: it's correct Japanese, and everyone understands it.

The gap is in how it sounds in adult daily life:

• It's a bit formal and final. Said to a friend you'll see tomorrow, it can feel heavier than you meant, more like a farewell than "see you."
• It sounds like school. In Japan, elementary school kids say sayōnara to their teachers at the end of the day. Because of that, the word carries a slightly school-like, childish ring for many adults.

So sayōnara isn't a mistake. It's more like a textbook answer that's correct on paper but sounds a little off in a Tokyo office or a café with friends.

Textbook vs. Tokyo

Leaving Work: お先に失礼します and お疲れさまです

This is where sayōnara stands out most. Tokyo offices have a fixed pair of phrases for heading home.

When you leave before others

お先に失礼します (osaki ni shitsurei shimasu) Roughly: "Excuse me for leaving before you."

• お先に (osaki ni) = "ahead of (you)"
• 失礼します (shitsurei shimasu) = "excuse me / I'm being rude"

Use it when you're heading home and coworkers are still at their desks.

What people say back

お疲れさまです (otsukaresama desu) Roughly: "Thanks for your hard work." Literally, something close to "you must be tired."

It's the usual reply when a coworker says osaki ni shitsurei shimasu. It's also the everyday work goodbye in place of sayōnara.

Example (6 p.m., Tokyo office)

You: お先に失礼します。 (Osaki ni shitsurei shimasu.) Coworker: お疲れさまです。 (Otsukaresama desu.)

If you only learn two work phrases before an internship, job, or office visit in Japan, make it this pair.

お疲れさまです vs. お疲れさまでした

You'll also hear お疲れさまでした (otsukaresama deshita). Deshita is the past form of desu, so it looks back on work that's already done. It's common at the end of the workday or after a meeting, shift, or event has finished. Both forms are polite, and both are normal ways to see off a coworker.

Goodbye With Friends: じゃあね, またね, and ばいばい

With friends, Tokyo goodbyes are short and casual.

じゃあね (jā ne) — "Well, bye then." The jā is like "well then," and ne softens it.

またね (mata ne) — "See you." Mata means "again," so it carries the idea that you'll meet again.

Example (leaving a café with a friend)

Friend: じゃあね！ (Jā ne!) You: またね！ (Mata ne!)

Both are casual. Use them with friends and people your own age you're close to, not with a boss or a shop clerk you've just met.

Variations: じゃあ、また and また明日

じゃあ、また (jā, mata) — "See you then." It combines jā ("well then") and mata ("again").

また明日 (mata ashita) — "See you tomorrow." Ashita means "tomorrow," so use it with people you'll actually see the next day, like classmates or friends you meet daily.

ばいばい (bai bai)

ばいばい (bai bai) comes from the English "bye-bye." It's very casual and common among friends and family, and kids use it a lot. Keep it for people you're close to.

Leaving Someone's Home: お邪魔しました

If you visit someone's home in Japan, the goodbye has its own set phrase.

お邪魔しました (ojama shimashita) Literally: "I have intruded (on you)." In practice it means something like "Thank you for having me."

You say it when you leave someone's home. It pairs with お邪魔します (ojama shimasu), which you say when you enter.

You (at the door, leaving): お邪魔しました。 (Ojama shimashita.)

Saying Hi to Friends: やあ, よう, and 最近どう？

Goodbyes have a textbook-vs-Tokyo gap, and so do casual hellos. Many beginner greeting lists include these three. Here's how they actually land in Tokyo.

やあ (yā): understandable, but bookish

Often taught as a friendly "hi." People will understand you, but in everyday Tokyo speech it sounds bookish, a bit like a manga character.

What friends usually do instead: just say the person's name, or use おはよう (ohayō, "morning") or おつかれ (otsukare, the casual form of otsukaresama).

You: あ、ケンさん！ (A, Ken-san!) — "Oh, Ken!"

よう (yō): real, but rough

Often taught as "hey" or "yo." It's real and people do use it, but it sounds rough and is mostly used between close male friends. It isn't a neutral hello, so it's not a safe default for beginners.

最近どう？ (saikin dō?): natural

"How've you been?" / "What's up lately?" This one is natural, and you'll hear it when friends who haven't seen each other for a while catch up.

Friend: 久しぶり！最近どう？ (Hisashiburi! Saikin dō?) — "Long time no see! How've you been?"

Textbook vs. Tokyo

Getting Attention and Apologizing: すみません

If you learn one word before a trip, make it すみません (sumimasen). Textbooks usually translate it as "excuse me" or "I'm sorry." In Tokyo it does at least three different jobs.

Three everyday uses

1. Calling a server over. Raise your hand a little and say: Sumimasen!
2. Getting past someone on a train. Squeezing toward the door: Sumimasen…
3. Thanking someone who holds a door for you. A, sumimasen. Here it works as a thank-you, not an apology.

すいません (suimasen): also normal

In speech you'll often hear すいません (suimasen). It's the same word, just quicker and softer, and it's completely normal out loud. When you write, or when you're being careful and polite, use すみません. Knowing both helps you recognize it when people talk fast.

あの…すみません (ano… sumimasen): the soft start

Before apologizing or interrupting, people often start with a hesitant あの… (ano…), something like "um…". It softens what comes next, and it's natural in Tokyo too.

You (to a stranger): あの…すみません。 (Ano… sumimasen.) — "Um… excuse me."

At Shops and Restaurants: これ、お願いします and 大丈夫です

Two phrases cover a lot of everyday transactions.

Ordering: これ、お願いします

これ、お願いします (kore, onegaishimasu) — "This one, please."

Point at the item on the menu and say it. No grammar beyond that. It works at cafés, izakaya (Japanese pubs), and most restaurants, and it's polite.

You (pointing at the menu): これ、お願いします。 (Kore, onegaishimasu.)

Saying "no thanks" at a convenience store: 大丈夫です

大丈夫です (daijōbu desu) — dictionary meaning: "I'm OK / It's fine."

At a convenience store (konbini), when the clerk asks 袋いりますか？ (fukuro irimasu ka?, "Do you need a bag?"), answering daijōbu desu means "No, I don't need one." It's a polite no, not "yes, that's fine."

A small wave of the hand while you say it makes your meaning clearer.

Clerk: 袋いりますか？ (Fukuro irimasu ka?) You: 大丈夫です。 (Daijōbu desu.) — "No thanks."

Textbook vs. Tokyo

Saying No Without Saying No: その日はちょっと…

Textbooks teach いいえ (iie) as "no." When people turn down an invitation, though, the "no" often never gets said.

あ、その日はちょっと… (a, sono hi wa chotto…) Literally: "Ah, that day is a little…"

That trailing ちょっと… (chotto…), "a little…," is a soft, polite no. People usually don't finish the sentence, and the listener understands. You don't need to finish it either.

Coworker: 金曜日、飲みに行きませんか？ (Kin'yōbi, nomi ni ikimasen ka?) — "Want to go for drinks on Friday?" You: あ、その日はちょっと… (A, sono hi wa chotto…)

If someone says this to you, take it as a no, and don't push for the reason.

After-Work Drinks: 二次会

This one isn't a textbook mistake. It's a word textbooks often leave out, and you'll hear it a lot in Tokyo office life.

二次会 (nijikai) — the "second party."

• The first party is the company dinner or drinking party itself.
• The nijikai is the second place people move to afterward.
• A classic choice is karaoke.
• You'll hear the word most in December, during year-end party season.

Coworker: 二次会、カラオケ行く？ (Nijikai, karaoke iku?) — "Going to karaoke for the second round?"

And if you'd rather go home, you already know two useful phrases: a, kyō wa chotto… ("ah, today's a little…") or osaki ni shitsurei shimasu.

Dialects: 毎度 and Why Beginners Should Start With Standard Japanese

Some beginner materials include 毎度 (maido) in their greeting lists. It's a real greeting, but it's Kansai dialect, the kind you'll hear in Osaka shops, not something people say in Tokyo daily life.

Our advice for beginners: start with standard Japanese first. It's what textbooks, most courses, and most media use, so everything you study lines up. Kansai-ben (Kansai dialect) can come later, once the basics feel solid.

Cheat Sheet: Textbook vs. Tokyo

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Where to Go Next: Hearing These Phrases in Real Speech

Reading a phrase list is a start. The faster way to make these phrases stick is to hear them in context, over and over.

• Best Japanese Learning Apps for Beginners: our research-based comparison, sorted by how you learn (listening, talking, watching, or free tools), with native notes on each app's public sample phrases.
• Best Podcasts to Learn Japanese: Audio is one of the easiest ways to start recognizing things like suimasen and otsukaresama desu at natural speed.

This page has no affiliate links. The apps guide does contain some, disclosed on that page.

FAQ

What is the most common way to say goodbye in Japanese?

It depends on the situation. At work, coworkers say お疲れさまです (otsukaresama desu), and the person leaving first says お先に失礼します (osaki ni shitsurei shimasu). Among friends, じゃあね (jā ne), またね (mata ne), and ばいばい (bai bai) are everyday choices. When leaving someone's home, say お邪魔しました (ojama shimashita).

Is it wrong or rude to say sayōnara?

No. さようなら (sayōnara) is correct and everyone will understand it. It just sounds a bit formal and final for daily use between adults, and slightly school-like, since elementary school kids say it to their teachers.

What does "otsukaresama desu" mean?

Roughly "thanks for your hard work." In Tokyo offices, it's the standard reply when a coworker leaves with osaki ni shitsurei shimasu, and it's used in place of sayōnara at work. The past form お疲れさまでした (otsukaresama deshita) is common once the work is finished, such as at the end of the day. Among friends, the short form おつかれ (otsukare) works as a casual greeting.

Is "sumimasen" or "suimasen" correct?

Both are used. すいません (suimasen) is very common in speech. In writing, or when you're being careful and polite, use すみません (sumimasen).

Should I learn standard Japanese or Kansai-ben first?

Standard Japanese. It matches textbooks and most media. Kansai phrases like 毎度 (maido), heard in Osaka shops, are fun to learn later.